Entry 1-
I met with Jannie and Petra today. We haven’t seen each other in months (all of us have been very busy with our own shit…) but being able to just hang out and relax with the girls was everything I needed.
I feel like I should probably explain who these girls are, since you’re a new diary and have no idea what I’m going on about.
Let’s begin with Jannie. My best friend. She’s currently a stripper. Okay, yes, I’m best friends with a stripper. But don’t judge me, she’s an amazing woman, and what’s wrong with showing off your sexuality in this day and age? She has gorgeous wavy black hair (I should ask her how she gets it this way, it must be some kind of magic), thick lips and the most killer smile. She’s Philipino, though she doesn’t act like her parents at all. I guess that’s what happens to girls like her when she’s born in America. Her parents don’t know about her stripping, which is something she’s gotten into recently with all her dancing lessons. I think they’d kill her if they knew about it. I met her in college, she was doing it because her parents forced her to, and I was doing it because I thought that was what everyone had to do to get successful in life. We were both wrong.
Petra is a wild one. She scares me a little, but we won’t ever tell her that. Diary, this is between you and I. She’s a dominatrix, and dominants even the most aggressive of men. She reduces them into little crybabies who beg her to stop hitting them, but secretly also love it. I would never be able to do something that wild, which is why I think she’s really cool. She has this crazy puffy hair, which she is constantly taking care of. I wish I had hair like that, but I’m sure it’s only allowed on powerful black women like her. Her personality is really different with us, she’s kind, loyal, and loving, and I know she’ll always have my back (especially with her whip on her). She always has dark eyeshadow and makeup, and a grin that looks like she’s always up to something. She’s gorgeous though, if I were into women, she’d be exactly my type. I met her through Jannie, who danced for Petra a couple of times when she visited the club with some of her submissive men. I was scared to meet her at first, but she was alright. I clearly love her now.
Do I need to explain myself? I feel like I might as well. I’m Jasmine. A stay-at-home mom, boring as they can be. I spend all day cleaning and taking care of the children, and then I sleep when I finally have the chance to. Very typical, right? Well, I have a secret of my own. But I don’t think you deserve to know yet! Ha. I have long blonde hair, which I typically like to straighten, blue eyes, and a body that is still going strong. I have no idea how, since I eat everything and anything I get my hands on. I would describe myself as loving and outgoing, but I fight for my friends, and make sure they always know I’m on their side.
Honestly, I love my girls. And I’m glad we’re back together again.
It was Petra that texted the group chat, informing us that we had to get together no matter what. That she was fed up with us all being shitty friends with our busy schedules. We all agreed - who could say no to Petra? We met up at the local Cafe - Tiffany’s, one of our favorites, and sat at the front deck, giggling to each other as we met. Of course, we started off with showing off our amazing outfits. I was wearing a long yellow dress, perfect for the summer. It was polka-dotted with a sweetheart line, which the girls really appreciated. I had to show off my tits while I had the chance, right?
Petra was wearing a tight corset, a black one, which she wanted to show off since she had just gotten it in the mail. Of course. Jannie, on the other hand, was about to go to a show, so she wore a light jacket on top of her outfit for the night, which she teased to us when no one was looking. It was a very tight one piece, which she would be teasing for a very long time before taking it off for the men who were hollering at her. I was so jealous of how gorgeous they were, but I knew they felt the same about me. We were such a loving friend group, and honestly I don’t know what I would do without my girls.
Of course, the first thing we did was gossip with a couple of breakfast mimosas, despite the fact that it was already well in the afternoon. I didn’t want to talk about my secret, it was way too juicy for a catch up session, so I let them talk about their lives.
Jannie was excited, more than I’d ever seen before. There’s a new girl at the strip joint, and she was into her. More than she’d been for anyone else before. I was so happy for her. She seemed like she was vibrating with joy. She was younger than Jannie, in her low 20’s, and used Jannie as some sort of role model. Jannie wasn’t sure if she was also interested in her, but they’d been texting a lot recently, and I think something might happen between them. Well, I hope. Jannie has been lonely for too many years now.
Petra, on the other hand, has been busy with a new toy. Did I mention she’s also a doctor? I know right? Obviously, most of her patients and staff don’t know about her secret life, which makes her act a bit crazier when she’s with us, since we’re the only people in her life that know about it. Anyways, she was in the middle of a prostate exam, and was clearly giving a patient the ride of his life, because she said she could tell he was really into it. I couldn’t stop laughing at that. He hadn’t been dominated before, but they had gone out a few times, and she really liked him. She was trying to ask us advice about how to go about telling him her interest, and Jannie and I looked at each other like we had no clue. We’re both pretty innocent girls, with no huge fetish like Petra, and never had to have this conversation with anyone before. All she did was groan at us in response, but she promised that she would give us regular updates now that we know about her new boo.
Anyways, new diary, I think that’s enough of updating you for now. I promise I’ll tell you my big secret next time! Okay no promises. But I’ll try.
- Jasmine
Entry 2- Jannie
This is stupid. I don’t know why I’m doing this. But I’m a loyal friend, so I guess I’ll do what Jasmine said. She gave me this diary a few weeks ago for my birthday, it came in the mail from amazon, and I groaned when I saw it. A diary? I’m a grown woman! Isn’t a diary for a little girl to write stories about herself with her secret crush? Well… if I were being honest with myself, I did have a secret crush. And my crush seems to have no idea I like her.
Melly is beautiful. No, she’s beyond beautiful. She had this glow about her that makes me want to follow her like a lost puppy. The way her hair flashes as she moves up and down that pole… I don’t even know why she considers me as her mentor, she’s clearly a natural at this.
So yesterday, after meeting up with the girls, I was super nervous to see her again. I guess it was because I finally admitted my feelings, and it was real for me now. Too real. Melly was wearing a matching outfit to mine, a one piece I wanted to tear off of her with my teeth. Too much? Okay. Sorry.
We’re always so sweaty after the dancing, and when we went back to the group changing room to talk, I knew I had to say something, or I’d be tearing all my hair out before long. I should probably describe the changing room. It’s where all the girls go before and after the show. There’s a shower and stalls in the back, and a row of mirrors for us to dress and put on our makeup in the front. We even have lockers, which is nice, since we’ve had a ton of stealing in the past. Anyways, Melly is sitting in front of the mirror, being all cute and asking me if she did well tonight. Of course, I told her she’s amazing. She’s always amazing.
She has black hair like me, but it’s more straight instead of wavy, and falls by her shoulders. She has a crooked smile and thin eyebrows, and this way about her that makes everyone need to stare at her at all times. I guess it’s good she wants to be a stripper, seems like the perfect career for her.
So imagine this: me sitting there staring at her, her trying to remove her makeup while giggling away, and my heart pounding like it’s about to fall out of my chest. I want to tell her. So bad. And I’m so, so scared. And right when it’s about to come out, like some sort of TV show, the door opens, and our head girl- Tiffany, is standing at the entrance, looking at us both.
“Hey new girl, I’ve got someone here to see you.” She says, and I realize that I’ve lost my chance to tell her my feelings. Though it was good I didn’t, because the person that came in was none other than her boyfriend. YES. BOYFRIEND. I’ve clearly mis-read all her signals. I feel like a complete idiot right now.
He’s hot too, not that I even pay attention to boys. He stood at the entrance, with his arms crossed, like he owned the place, and was grinning at Melly like she was the pearl of his life. Of course she was. She’s the pearl of everyone’s lives.
She ran up to him and hugged him, and then introduced me as her best friend, someone who’s been taking care of her since she was hired as an intern. He thanks me for taking care of his girlfriend, and I have to act like I’m glad to be her ‘friend’ and will always be there to take care of her. As a friend, of course.
How could I be so stupid?
I need text Jasmine and Petra for edging me on to tell her how I feel. They made me feel like I had a chance. I want to scream and cry and throw things against the wall right now. Instead, I'm sad, eating a tub of ice cream alone, and writing in a diary I’ll probably never write in again. You feel bad for me, don’t you? I’m sure you feel bad for the girl who has only two people in her life that love her, because her family can’t stand that fact that she’s into girls. I can’t even imagine what they would say if I told them I’m a stripper, too.
They’d probably hire someone to assassinate me if they found out.
Anyways, now that I don’t have anything to look forward to at work anymore, I don’t even want to go tonight. I have to, though. Tiffany would get mad if her ‘star girl’ didn’t show up. And she 100% knows when I get my period.
I’m going to sleep now. Love you.
- Jannie